I find it hard to believe that summer is half over and I haven't written anything for nearly three months. I have lots of excuses that both start and end with a combination of depression and anxiety regarding both my own life and the outrageously horrible things that are still going on in our country and the world at large. My heart aches for all those persons who have been caught in the crosshairs of the evil elite and their puppets and cronies who have no regard for anyone or anything--other than obtaining more power and money as they continue their designs for world dominance and reducing the number of persons living on the earth.
Some of the things I have heard and read the past couple of months are so far outside my realm of reason, morality and understanding that I am sometimes too exhausted to do anything more than sit in a chair and become part of the walking zombies who have been conditioned and brainwashed to a point of inactivity and near surrender. But I know inside that giving in or giving up is not in my nature. I admire President Trump and the brave and undaunted patriots too much to relinquish control to a radial agenda meant to destroy what is left of the greatest nation on earth. They are doing what I wished I had the means, knowledge and courage to do myself.
But common sense tells me that there's nothing I can do personally to solve any of the global drama--other than praying for a change of heart in the world leaders who seem so intent on continuing with their diabolical plans. And those prayers include the safety and solace of all the innocent victims who may never find justice in this life. I thought the DEW attack that caused the Maui fires and the weather-manipulated flooding that took out so much of North Carolina and allowed certain politicians to purchase stock in a profitable mine were heinous enough. But the attack on the Christian Girl's Camp in Texas on the Fourth of July was an all-time low for those Satan worshipers whose only desire is not to get caught, regardless of all the laws broken and lives lost.
As a Christian, I know how lucky I am to have been born in the United States of America under the only form of government that will protect my freedoms and allow me to build a good life as I pursue my inner most dreams. But I also recognize the burden I share with the rest of my fellow American citizens in protecting those same rights for future generations who love this country as much as I do. It pains me greatly to know that our divinely inspired constitution is literally hanging by a thread because it has been abused and mocked for so many decades.
Nonetheless, I have great hope that we as Christians--regardless of church affiliation and doctrines taught--will continue to stand together as we did when getting President Trump elected in this fight between good and evil. I no longer see two political parties in America, even though they still exist. I just see evil viruses good, and I want to be on the right side always.
I love what William George Jordan once wrote. "Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil--the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be. Every man, by his mere living, is radiating sympathy, or sorrow, or morbidness, or cynicism, or happiness, or hope, or any of a hundred other qualities. Life is a state of constant radiation and absorption: to exist is to radiate; to exist is to be the recipient of radiation.
"Man cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities that he will permit to be radiated. He can cultivate sweetness, calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility--make them virtually active in his character--and by these qualities he will constantly affect the world."
I like believing that positive qualities make a huge difference on society--one person at a time. I've had several experiences over the past few months that have caused me to dig deep within myself in serving others. The first came when a sister in my community, who is only a few months older than me, was dying from conditions related to Alzheimers.
Now, I have never been one who tolerates being around ill people well, but as part of my church assignment it was my duty to help the family through this struggle. I got to sit with her when she was still well enough to kiss the back of my hand, even though she could no longer express a complete thought. I helped her husband situate her clothing, put medicine on her bed sores and wipe the spittle from the corners of her mouth. I sat with her body after her spirit had passed to the life beyond and tried to comfort her Autistic son. I was in charge of the funeral luncheon for the family. All of these things were hard for me, but I did them anyway and found joy in being of service.
But that was not my only chance to let my light shine while helping someone who was struggling. I got to be a support for a family whose youngest son, age nine, went through four surgeries in the same amount of moths to have his rectum removed and a new one constructed. I got to weed the front flowerbeds of a sister who had a breast removed due to cancer and was going through both chemo and radiation. I made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to a friend in a coma who died a few hours later from colon cancer that had spread throughout her body. And I got to be there for another family whose wife and mother passed away from breast cancer. I had never met any of them before, but it was a very humbling experience trying to offer what help and comfort I could.
Perhaps being part of so many sad experiences in such a short amount of time was the basis for my recent state of depression and anxiety because I saw how rapidly and completely life can change almost in the blink of an eye. But I've also been working on my life history--as promised in my New Year Resolution for 2025. Reviewing my past and putting it into a form that might encourage and help my posterity and other family members has been neither fun nor easy. Like mentioned in at least one previous post, I have almost total memory loss throughout most of my life. I've often thought of that as being a huge blessing, but not when it comes to committing anything of a personal nature to paper. My only saving graces were the journal I kept quite sporadically for a few years while my children were growing up and the scrapbooks I put together several years ago depicting my childhood and college years. But if I can keep going, I should be finished with it by the end of the year.
Anyway, I must be turning a corner in my emotional state because I was able to write something tonight. I'm not sure it makes much sense, but then that would simply mirror how I feel about what is going on in both our country and the world right now. I wake up most mornings not knowing who or what to believe. But I do know what sources I can trust for the most acurate information, and not one of them is the garbage spewed out by the mainstream media since they're all controlled by the same persons.
I do know, however, that God is in charge. This is His country, founded on his laws, and he will not allow it to be destroyed, unless we willingly refuse to follow him. That gives me comfort and hope because Christ had few true followers when he was on the earth, and yet what he did for us is charity in its purest form. He died that we might live again. My trials may seem like mountains at times, but with our Savior walking beside me, and even carrying me when my strength falters, I can survive whatever comes with both hope and joy. And I can share those truths with others because I know how this whole story will end. God will prevail and those of us on his side will reap the most amazing eternal blessings.
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