Expect the Unexpected

 It's the last day of January and instead of defaulting on my unwritten goal of writing at least once a month during 2026, I decided to shut off my phone and retire to my office where I would not be disturbed for a few hours why I try to organize some very disjointed thoughts and put a few of them into sentences that might be understood. I am still going to hand therapy twice a week and hoping another few sessions will make it possible for me to squeeze fifty pounds again so I can be released. But that journey has been hampered by a yucky UTI that was compounded by my first real cold with stuffy nose, headache and exhausting cough in nearly three years. 

I'm just glad it isn't anything worse, just as I am grateful for the unexpected inch of snow we got Wednesday after three months of no moisture where I live in the top of the Rocky Mountains. It's been a crazy winter with the temperature expected to reach 50 degrees tomorrow. While other parts of the country are being inundated with horrific storms where both power and lives have been lost, I have been praying daily for moisture so our water will not be restricted to the point of being forced to let our lawns, gardens and flowers die because the population has exploded so rapidly over the past few years that every facet of our daily living has been strained almost to the breaking point. 

But while I was watching the beautiful, amazingly-shaped snow flakes fall from the sky, I was reading a chapter in a book that brought heaviness to my heart and tears to my eyes because we as Americans who truly do love our country have slowly watched it be overrun by Socialism, Communism, Fascism, Racism, Nazism, Sexism, Statism, the Welfare State, state interventionism, the planned economy, the Green New Deal and all sorts of other deals--new, fair and otherwise--woke ideologies and hatred of everything our great country once stood for. 

In other words, the takeover of our lives by those who are intent on destroying every freedom our ancestors fought so diligently to provide. They purposely created a Capitalistic Republic where free enterprising men and women could dream big, build lives of excellence and abundance through their willingness to work hard and sacrifice for what they wanted. And where others who chose to do less actually excepted to live with the consequences their lack of industry brought.

I suppose I have been somewhat befuddled the past few weeks as to how an outspoken, basically unheard of and self-declared Socialist with huge Communist ties could be elected mayor of the largest and most influential city in the country with few people daring to speak out against him. Today, he even appointed an ex-convict by the name of Stanley Richards to lead NYC Department of Corrections to push a rehabilitation-focused overhaul of corrections.

The same unease came when Somali flags were hoist in the air beside our beautiful Stars and Stripes in both New Jersey and Minnesota as a symbol of that area being conquered by a foreign entity. And then there is the new governor of Virginia who promised one thing, but the minute she took office overruled every legislative action of the former governor. Without a blink of an eye, she is raising taxes on most everyone and showing her constituents that she will rule with injustice and force to get exactly what she wants.

These blatant disregards for American values and ideals was further frustrated by all the carefully funded, regimented Antifa mobs in Minnesota who would rather protect murderers, rapists, drug and human traffickers, arsonists, pedafiles, robbers and those who entered the country illegally than stand up for the safety and well-being of family members, neighbors and friends who have spent their lives building safe and productive neighborhoods.

Now I know that those people whose antics and anti-American rhetoric fill the headlines and news feeds are just a small minority that have successfully quieted the silent majority who want to live by virtue, justice, honesty and the American way of life. But those far leftists, along with their wealthy and well-positioned masters, have become outrightly brazen in admitting their plans to destroy our republic and free-enterprise system and replace it with a Socialistic government as a gateway to full Communist control. 

I read an article on Fox this morning where several of these foul-mouthed beings proudly proclaimed that the minute the left came back into power they would make sure that President Trump, his entire cabinet and everyone else in the country who had supported him in any way would be behind bars in orange jumpsuits, with all their private property seized, for the rest of their lives. I suppose the fear they love to instill in every proud American is part of the reason I so often hesitate in writing anything because I know that nothing sent out electronically is ever private. It can be seized and used against anyone who loves God, family, country and the American way of life.

But I still know how important it is for every American to understand how we got to where we are today and it won't be learned from recent textbooks that have obliterated or changed the information about the founding of our great country. 

John Taylor in 1875 said that every form of government that uses Fourierism, Communism or any form of control over God-given freedom and agency would fail because "however philanthropic, humanitarian, benevolent or cosmopolitan our ideas, it is impossible to produce a true and correct union without the Spirit of the Living God." Our own nation is a case in point because "The evils that have flourished so long in what is called the Old World have been transplanted into this new land."

Henry Grady Weaver in his book, The Mainspring of Human Progress, stated, ". . . The harm by ordinary criminals, murderers, gangsters and thieves is negligible in comparison with the agony inflicted upon human beings by the professional 'do-gooders', who attempt to set themselves up as gods on earth who would ruthlessly force their views on all others--with the abiding assurance that the end justifies the means."

That end he was talking about was further explained this way in 1935 by Milton Freedman. "There are great and obvious defects in the designs of some of these would-be reformers who seek to thrust us headlong into the whirlpool of European isms and autocracies. One defect that I will mention in the thinking of this group is this: They plot somehow first to parcel out the wealth produced by our economic system and then they intent to scourge and destroy that system; yet they visualize a world following after this parcelling out, that will still have and enjoy all the wealth created by this system which they intend to destroy, notwithstanding that, so far as human experiences goes, it is only such a system that can produce the wealth and ease they crave. Perhaps it is enough to repeat two homely sayings that come to mind; 'Do not kill the goose that lays the golden eggs' and 'You can't eat your cake and have it.'"

Another writer put it this way. "The degree of slavery varies according to the ratio between that which he is forced to yield up, and that which he is allowed to retain; and it matters not whether his master is a single person or a society." Does that resonate with anyone who is forced to pay any unlawful taxes without legal representation? J. Reuben Clark, also in 1935, said. "God himself does not coerce the will of man; why should puny fellow man think he may do what God does not?" 

This so-called modern world State wants to dethrone God and exalt the State into His place and has from its very nature become an economic, uncompensated leveling downward of the very people it claims to protect. This is done by self-perpetuating governments who set themselves up by selecting only the candidate they want, where laws and courts have been weaponized against anyone who gets in their way, where parents are being prosecuted and having their children taken away for not adhering to state-demanded ideologies, and where places of worship are being vandalized and services disrupted.

"All over the world this new State comes into all these fields in the guise of protesting love and friendship for the people, whose property it means to confiscate, whose liberties it means to steal, and whose religion it means to destroy. . . . This philosophy knows nothing of the rights of man and discards with derision the fundamentals embodied in our Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights. While the followers of the philosophy group themselves into different isms, yet in the last analysis they all come to the same end--the establishment of a socialistic, paternalistic state and the submergence of the individual and his rights. This concept is as old as man. All it is doing now is to dress itself up in a new suit. This concept is today imposing despotism in its worst forms upon millions in the old world."  (J. Reuben Clark, 12/15/1939)

So how did unholy practices come to rule so forcefully in our beloved nation? The sad truth is that Satan has had his hand in the mix, along with his mortal cronies, since America was first discovered. Our prolonged freedom came with both a promise and a responsibility. As long as we served God, this nation would flourish, but if we allowed unrighteousness ideologies and people to decide our future we would lose what most everyone else in the world longs for--our basic God-given freedoms. No wonder the adversary is so determined to eradicate the family as a divine institution, destroy life--even for the unborn, and persecute every Christian and Jew for believing in God and His Only Begotten Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Their goal is to banish every belief and right given to AMERICAN CITIZENs as stipulated in the Constitution, Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights.

Of course man's basic nature plays a part since there will always be those persons who love ease, idleness and greed and whose proclivities are played upon by giving them something for nothing until they expect to be cared for from cradle to grave. These misconceptions were reinforced by telling us to spend every penny we have and never save for anything because the government will provide for all our needs. That concept alone killed thrift and frugality. The father no longer felt it was his duty to provide for this family, and his wife and children began to look to state for sustenance instead of him. In this seemingly innocuous way State Socialism took root in the 1940s with the advent of Government-sponsored Welfare. 

And who would pay for it? Not those receiving the benefits, but those who actually followed the law, worked hard, paid taxes and tried to stay solvent when it came to financial matters. I learned that quite recently from a lady who had just moved into the area. She had spent many years using illegal drugs and living on the streets when a man she claimed to love rescued her, but she did not want to marry him because it would mean losing most of her welfare benefits.

Last Wednesday, she let me know that she had just received clearance for Social Security and at forty-five, she would never have to work another day in her life. While I was happy for her, I was saddened too. She would spend the next thirty or forty years without ever knowing the sense of pride that comes from putting in a day of honest labor or having to struggle and save for what she wants. All she would ever have to do was wait for the next government handout to be put in her checking account or for a new card to be sent in the mail. 

In the beginning of government-sponsored welfare, public nurseries were set up to tend children while the mothers worked. Public kitchens were then established in schools so underprivileged kids could be fed by the state instead of going home. Laws were established prohibiting youth from helping to earn family livelihoods and government recreation programs were provided to take the place of going to work. State sponsored youth camps were created to take children out of the home to be fed, clothed, indoctrinated and housed without any parental input or interference. And all of that took place before the awful revolutions of the 1960s where nearly every Christian value was toppled.

But how does tyranny enter in? We certainly hear that word often enough nowadays. It always comes in deep disguise, sometimes proclaiming an endowment of freedom--like never having to work again--and sometimes promising help to the unfortunate and downtrodden by providing things they should be willing to earn for themselves. It comes by creating something for those who do not have by robbing those who have worked for what they want to enjoy. Tyranny is always a wolf in sheep's clothing and always ends by devouring the whole flock.

In the case of what is supposed to be a Republic form of Government it comes in a disguised form by sending billions of dollars, wrenched from taxpayers, to their favorite alien governments, along with supplies that are needed at home, military equipment they know will be used against us, and money for spreading false propaganda against our government. Perpetrators of Socialism and its twin, Communism, have used every device fertile and evil minds can conceive to breed and intensify hatred, bring chaos into our country and help Communize the world and destroy all the peace and liberty we hold dear. 

On our own soil, they do everything within their power to destroy the fundamental freedoms and political equality guaranteed by the Constitution, including our right to speak freely, own private property, worship as we choose, bear arms and defend ourselves and our property without fear of persecution or prosecution. They mislabel and misrepresent everything they do or say because they know how to incite the bleeding heart liberals to action and demoralize the conservatives because they do not want to be called by derogatory names. 

In the above paragraphs, I have tried to give examples and state opinions given by learned men who understood the danger our great country would be in if we did not rein in some of the people and ideologies that were diametrically opposed to everything we hold dear. But instead of taking their words to heart, we followed the uninformed masses who wanted to believe that all men and women had the same goals and dreams and should be allowed to do as they pleased. 

But anyone who has lived for even half a century is well aware of the way our country has been attacked from within by evil forces we allowed inside our borders without even being vetted. As an old junior high teacher of mine once said, "You make your bed and then you have to sleep in it. That didn't make much sense back then but it certainly does now. 

Not taking a stand when we should, being indifferent to what is happening anywhere outside of own home and believing that life is only about eating, drinking and being merry has gotten us into a terrible place. President Trump is trying to take us out the pit without bloodshed but he can't do it alone. I pray every morning and night for him and for all the brave patriots who are standing firm so we do not lose everything. 

I want to conclude these remarks with a quote from Admiral Ben Moreell. "We do not place our trust in government mechanisms, formulas, affirmations or men. Our faith is in God and in the capacity of free men and women to govern themselves. There is a proper function for government in a free society. But that function does not include the power to order citizens how to live their lives. Our government was not designed to administer the affairs of men; it was devised to administer justice among men, who would administer their own affairs. . ."

How I long for a return to common sense and bravery when it comes to standing for what is right, virtuous and true. Our country is too great to lose, but that might happen if we are not willing to take a stand with those brave men and women who died that we might live free. 

Christmas Blues

So here it is December 23rd and I have just spent the last few minutes sobbing while listing to my favorite secular Christmas song--Wham's Last Christmas. I don't know why it hit me so hard. I have been alone for the past thirty years and my twenty-two year marriage was awful. Maybe it's because it is the warmest December on record where I live--61 degrees today and no chance of snow. 

Or maybe it is simply because I have never had anyone special in my life that I ever felt really safe with or longed to be around. Abuse in all its hideous forms can really do a number on any tender heart and mine has certainly taken a beating over the years. I even got so melancholy that I sent a text to an old flame of two and half years ago telling him I wished we were still friends. Thankfully, it didn't go through because I do not 

want to rekindle what is best left behind. But I sure feel lonely right now.

It's been a rough few months. After my last post I broke my right hand while flying model airplanes with my grandson. He had just turned twelve and I hadn't seen him for over two years. We had plans to go to the huge airplane museum on the Air Force base not far from my house. But they had been here less than twelve hours when I tripped and landed hand down on the concrete. So instead of heading there as planned, they took me to Insta-care where I found out that the top part of the bone right below my baby finger had snapped completely off.

The nurse put my arm and hand in a brace that extended beyond the ends of my fingers but didn't offer me anything for the pain. By then we had lost over an hour from when we had planned on going and there were only a couple of hours left until the museum closed, so I told my son-in-law to drive us straight there. By the time we were finished looking at most everything I was in incredible pain. Needless to say, I could no longer fix any of the meals that had been planned and felt like a complete fool.

Three days later, after everyone had gone home, a sweet neighbor took me back to get my lovely blue cast put on. I thought shoulder surgery twenty months before was bad, but nothing I have ever experienced was more awkward than not being able to use my dominant hand. The cast was heavy, my fingers could barely move and taking care of bodily needs was almost impossible. Since I had not been prepared for such an injury, 

it wasn't long until I had eaten everything manageable in the house and I wasn't allowed to drive. That's when I got really creative with my meals, but I somehow managed.

I was supposed to spend two weeks with my sister visiting at her house and going to Branson, Missouri, to see friends and watch them perform, but I couldn't even comb my hair or put on any makeup. I told her there was no way I could come. But she replied that our condo reservation was non-refundable at that late date and she would take care of me if I would just get on the plane. Now, I hate looking awful in public so that was a huge concession on my part, but when I went back three weeks later to see if the swelling had gone down and the bone was starting to regrow, I told the doctor I wanted a removable brace instead of another cast. He explained the dangers of going that way since it offered far less protection, but I was adamant in my demands. I needed to at least be able to shower without putting my arm in a bread bag.

That was a very strange trip. I wore jeans and a baseball cap and very little makeup because my fingers were too stiff and my hand still too swollen to hold anything, but I had learned how to do a few things with my left hand without poking out one of my eyes. One of my friends told me I looked more relaxed than he had ever seen me, and the old flame I mentioned earlier pretty much ignored me until the last time he came down to dance with me. That's when he had to tell me that he wished he could hold me closer but my arm was in the way. 

I wished he could too because I had really missed his attention, but I wasn't feeling the greatest. My sister had taken me for a facial and I was having a bad reaction to something that had been used. My face was starting to break out in a horrible red, raised and itchy rash. By the time we got back to her house the next day I looked like something out of a horror movie. I did the best I could not to scare anyone, but the morning after I got home I was back at Insta-care.

The doctor I saw put me on a heavy-duty steroid ointment that made the rash on my cheeks start to go away but then it began to spread around my eyes. They were red, blotchy and puffy and I thought I might be getting a sinus infection on top of the rash so I went to a different clinic. The doctor there said the ointment wouldn't work and I needed an oral steroid. I had been on those before and knew they would make my blood sugar worse--which they certainly did--but I had been dealing with the rash for over a month by then and wanted to look less awful for Thanksgiving. He gave me a referral to a dermatologist just in case.

So a week later I went to see him. He said he had never seen anything quite like it before and prescribed a last resort treatment--huge horse pills that smelled something awful and that doctors gave to people who'd had heart, liver and kidney transplants. What I had was an auto-immune issue and that would take care of it. My insurance would only cover half the cost and I was left with a $60 co-pay. But after praying about the advisability of taking them, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The side-effects were simply too great and I figured the rash had to go away on its own eventually. And it pretty much has an entire month later.

So my face is finally looking somewhat normal and the bone has started to regrow in my hand. I am even able to start strengthening therapy which is very slow and rather painful at times. But I have been able to accomplish everything that has been required of me like hosting a Christmas dinner for all the ladies at church, fixing treats for all my neighbors and even getting my tree up. Presents have been wrapped, sent off and placed under my tree, but my days and nights are still spent alone.

Nonetheless, my heart is filled with gratitude for my Savior's birth and the most amazing and greatest gift that he so unselfishly gave to all mankind. I will never fully understand its true significance or the kind of eternal and selfless love that prompted it. I am much too mortal for that, but I love seeing the Christmas lights, listening to the music of the season and spending time learning more about the Christ child who became the greatest man the world will ever know. 

How I treasure all the blessings he sends my way, his guidance, protection, understanding, encouragement and constant presence in my life if I just allow it. It really doesn't matter quite so much what is going on throughout the world during this special season of the year. While I long for my Savior's return and his blessed millennial reign, I am just grateful to be alive and believe what I do. Chaos may surround me, but as long I never forget who I am, why I am here and where I someday hope to be I can feel inner peace and joy. 

So to any of my unknown friends out there who are going through their own challenges and often feel very much alone, I send my love, my prayer and my understanding of their pain and heartache. God resides in his heaven and is there each time we reach out to him. He sends special angels into our lives when we need them and allows us to be angels of light and peace to others who need us. 

What a glorious season it is. So I will turn on my tree lights tonight, listen to some of my favorite Christmas songs and allow the beauty of this amazing season to wash over me so the tears do not return. Tomorrow is another day and I know there will be someone I can reach out to with the kind of love my Savior so graciously offers me. 

 

What's normal any more?

I have been wanting to write something for over a month, but life hasn't exactly been normal. To say this has been a summer of discovery and loss would be an understatement. I have lost five friends the past two months and have provide family luncheons after three of their funerals. I look out my bedroom window many times each day to see the vacant house of my neighbor. She was the last one to leave and died nine days ago--two days before her eightieth birthday. Not that I wish she was still here. She had been on oxygen and unable to leave her house for anything besides doctor appointments and family activities for several years. But there was something comforting about having her near. 

Perhaps it was only seeing her decline and being grateful that I could still get around and do all that was needed of me. But the last few days have made me fully aware of how fragile life is and how rapidly my own existence in this sphere is coming to an end. I mentioned that to my son yesterday when he called to talk about his woes. When I reminded him that I would be seventy-seven in two months and was starting to feel my age, he just became silent. I suppose children always expect their parents to be around, even if they only visit them on a very occasional basis.

But the sorrow I feel inside for the things I have left undone and those that may never see fruition leave a heaviness in my heart that may never heal. I said in my last blog that I was editing my life history and it was the only thing I could think of that no one else but myself could do. Well, that editing is finished now, but I am almost afraid to prepare it for publication. Finishing it means all I have left is putting my final wishes on paper so my son and daughter will not have as many decisions to make. My burial plot beside my mother and father has been secured, and I have a policy that will cover my funeral expenses. It seems rather sad to be thinking about that, but I would caution anyone reading this that is never too soon to start preparing for death. Whenever it comes it will be unexpected. 

At least that is what I discovered this summer. Three of the sisters I lost had cancer, but only one of them had time to prepare. And even the ones with Alzheimer's and lung issues thought they had more time than they did. So I guess I can claim melancholia as part of having a not-so-fun summer.

But there has also been added trauma because my ex-husband refuses to take responsibility for his actions that have spanned over thirty years. I get that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in prison, but after all the little girls he has hurt, he needs incarceration. These beautiful girls are young women now and need to know that at least partial justice has been served. Not that it will take away of the scars he left. Those will never go away. But at least my own granddaughter will no longer be terrified of seeing him unexpectedly again.

Life is definitely not for the fainthearted, and few people end up where they expected to be. But I suppose in the long run we are exactly where we need to be. I said that to my eighty-two year old friend last night. Every time I talk to her she complains about her aches and pains and says she doesn't think she will be here much longer. Guess I am still the fighter I was a child. I want to see my flowers come up again next spring, write another book, and see how many people I can help when they need it. I'm not scared of dying, but I am certainly not ready for it yet.

Nor am I ready for most of the news articles put out by Fox, Newsmax or even the Blaze. They are the most reliable news outlets since mainstream media is nothing but opinion and bashing Trump. I know we are in the eleventh hour before the Savior's return and a lot of stuff must happen before then, but I certainly never expected to see things happening so fast when it comes to the destruction of our nation.

Just yesterday I read three stories that seemed almost unbelievable until I remembered that Satan has been trying to destroy our country from within since long before our constitution was ever signed. And he isn't even hiding any more. He has plenty of willing participants to do the evil work for him. I will relate each of them briefly in case you missed seeing them. 

In the first one, the present leader of the Black Panthers in Washington D.C. was calling all the most notorious gang bangers and aggressive criminals to a meeting where they would discuss plans for stopping Trump's crackdown on crime in the city. They claimed they had rights to do as liked and the law would be no deterrent.

The second was about Tom Kaine, democrat senator from Virginia. He has issues with the Declaration of Independence where it says that "all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights. . . . ." He claims nothing about our country's foundation involved God. The government makes the laws and grants rights, not a supreme being. He wants the government to be in complete control like it is in communist countries. No wonder the 'D's' support Zohran Mamdani who is running for mayor of New York City. Mr. Mamdani has no problem saying he is in full support of communism.

The last was President Trump saying that he would be speaking at the Museum of the Bible Religious Library as the greatest defender of people of faith in modern history. And sad as it is, I believe he is right. He is certainly the only one who will speak out and defend religions of all the faithful, regardless of the doctrine involved. 

I suppose I feel somewhat shell-shocked after reading stories like that. I love our country and all that it stand for, and my heart is saddened every time I hear, or read about, someone who is trying to destroy all that I hold dear. But I take comfort in the fact that the war that began in Heaven will be won in the end. There will just be a few great battles before then, and I want to be fighting with the right army--the Army of God. 

I no longer believe in party affiliation. This is a battle between good and evil and there are plenty of people on both sides who do not want to see our country become like every other nation on earth. America was founded by God and was given both a promise and a blessing, but if we turn away from him as a nation we forfeit everything.  We must stand tall and unafraid and be willing to let our voices be heard when defending truth and righteousness.

I was aghast at the vilified way Robert Kennedy was attacked yesterday by the rest of the senators for doing his job in trying to make America Healthy Again. We have been lied to by big pharma, doctors, the wealthy elite and the CDC for generations just so they could get richer and make the rest of us sicker. Hopefully, that will change if we collectively throw our weight behind those individuals who are trying to turn things around and are being blocked by paid agitators and corrupt judges every step of the way. 

Our country really is too great to lose. And for as long as I live I will fight for our protection as Christians and all the other things I so greatly value. I'm hoping everyone who reads this will feel the same way and vote for people who believe as they do, not because they belong to a certain party.

I'm feeling much better now that I have expressed some of my own woes. It's getting a little cooler here and soon I will not have to water my flowers each day. I am ready for fall and a little more time at my computer writing about the things I care most about. I will let you know when my life story has been sent to be published. It will be a huge accomplishment and a great load off my mind because it is the only thing someone else cannot do for me. Having completed it gives me a huge sense of fulfillment.

And it could do the same for you. Our posterity needs to know more than just what we did. They need to know how we lived, the struggles we fought, our lost dreams, greatest hopes and the belief system that got us through everything. Who knows, our story might even bring a laugh or two. Something that is greatly needed in today's very complex and frustrating world.

Life Just Keeps Getting More Complex

I find it hard to believe that summer is half over and I haven't written anything for nearly three months. I have lots of excuses that both start and end with a combination of depression and anxiety regarding both my own life and the outrageously horrible things that are still going on in our country and the world at large. My heart aches for all those persons who have been caught in the crosshairs of the evil elite and their puppets and cronies who have no regard for anyone or anything--other than obtaining more power and money as they continue their designs for world dominance and reducing the number of persons living on the earth. 

Some of the things I have heard and read the past couple of months are so far outside my realm of reason, morality and understanding that I am sometimes too exhausted to do anything more than sit in a chair and become part of the walking zombies who have been conditioned and brainwashed to a point of inactivity and near surrender. But I know inside that giving in or giving up is not in my nature. I admire President Trump and the brave and undaunted patriots too much to relinquish control to a radial agenda meant to destroy what is left of the greatest nation on earth. They are doing what I wished I had the means, knowledge and courage to do myself. 

But common sense tells me that there's nothing I can do personally to solve any of the global drama--other than praying for a change of heart in the world leaders who seem so intent on continuing with their diabolical plans. And those prayers include the safety and solace of all the innocent victims who may never find justice in this life. I thought the DEW attack that caused the Maui fires and the weather-manipulated flooding that took out so much of North Carolina and allowed certain politicians to purchase stock in a profitable mine were heinous enough. But the attack on the Christian Girl's Camp in Texas on the Fourth of July was an all-time low for those Satan worshipers whose only desire is not to get caught, regardless of all the laws broken and lives lost.

As a Christian, I know how lucky I am to have been born in the United States of America under the only form of government that will protect my freedoms and allow me to build a good life as I pursue my inner most dreams. But I also recognize the burden I share with the rest of my fellow American citizens in protecting those same rights for future generations who love this country as much as I do. It pains me greatly to know that our divinely inspired constitution is literally hanging by a thread because it has been abused and mocked for so many decades.

Nonetheless, I have great hope that we as Christians--regardless of church affiliation and doctrines taught--will continue to stand together as we did when getting President Trump elected in this fight between good and evil. I no longer see two political parties in America, even though they still exist. I just see evil viruses good, and I want to be on the right side always.

I love what William George Jordan once wrote. "Into the hands of every individual is given a marvelous power for good or evil--the silent, unconscious, unseen influence of his life. This is simply the constant radiation of what man really is, not what he pretends to be. Every man, by his mere living, is radiating sympathy, or sorrow, or morbidness, or cynicism, or happiness, or hope, or any of a hundred other qualities. Life is a state of constant radiation and absorption: to exist is to radiate; to exist is to be the recipient of radiation.

"Man cannot escape for one moment from this radiation of his character, this constant weakening or strengthening of others. He cannot evade the responsibility  by saying it is an unconscious influence. He can select the qualities that he will permit to be radiated. He can cultivate sweetness, calmness, trust, generosity, truth, justice, loyalty, nobility--make them virtually active in his character--and by these qualities he will constantly affect the world."

I like believing that positive qualities make a huge difference on society--one person at a time. I've had several experiences over the past few months that have caused me to dig deep within myself in serving others. The first came when a sister in my community, who is only a few months older than me, was dying from conditions related to Alzheimers. 

Now, I have never been one who tolerates being around ill people well, but as part of my church assignment it was my duty to help the family through this struggle. I got to sit with her when she was still well enough to kiss the back of my hand, even though she could no longer express a complete thought. I helped her husband situate her clothing, put medicine on her bed sores and wipe the spittle from the corners of her mouth. I sat with her body after her spirit had passed to the life beyond and tried to comfort her Autistic son. I was in charge of the funeral luncheon for the family. All of these things were hard for me, but I did them anyway and found joy in being of service. 

But that was not my only chance to let my light shine while helping someone who was struggling. I got to be a support for a family whose youngest son, age nine, went through four surgeries in the same amount of moths to have his rectum removed and a new one constructed. I got to weed the front flowerbeds of a sister who had a breast removed due to cancer and was going through both chemo and radiation. I made it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to a friend in a coma who died a few hours later from colon cancer that had spread throughout her body. And I got to be there for another family whose wife and mother passed away from breast cancer. I had never met any of them before, but it was a very humbling experience trying to offer what help and comfort I could.

Perhaps being part of so many sad experiences in such a short amount of time was the basis for my recent state of depression and anxiety because I saw how rapidly and completely life can change almost in the blink of an eye. But I've also been working on my life history--as promised in my New Year Resolution for 2025. Reviewing my past and putting it into a form that might encourage and help my posterity and other family members has been neither fun nor easy. Like mentioned in at least one previous post, I have almost total memory loss throughout most of my life. I've often thought of that as being a huge blessing, but not when it comes to committing anything of a personal nature to paper. My only saving graces were the journal I kept quite sporadically for a few years while my children were growing up and the scrapbooks I put together several years ago depicting my childhood and college years. But if I can keep going, I should be finished with it by the end of the year. 

Anyway, I must be turning a corner in my emotional state because I was able to write something tonight. I'm not sure it makes much sense, but then that would simply mirror how I feel about what is going on in both our country and the world right now. I wake up most mornings not knowing who or what to believe. But I do know what sources I can trust for the most acurate information, and not one of them is the garbage spewed out by the mainstream media since they're all controlled by the same persons.

I do know, however, that God is in charge. This is His country, founded on his laws, and he will not allow it to be destroyed, unless we willingly refuse to follow him. That gives me comfort and hope because Christ had few true followers when he was on the earth, and yet what he did for us is charity in its purest form. He died that we might live again. My trials may seem like mountains at times, but with our Savior walking beside me, and even carrying me when my strength falters, I can survive whatever comes with both hope and joy. And I can share those truths with others because I know how this whole story will end. God will prevail and those of us on his side will reap the most amazing eternal blessings. 

Life Keeps Getting in the Way

I don't know about any of you, but life seems to be moving so fast I never accomplish anywhere near as much as I wish I could--mostly because I don't have the energy or the desire to push myself like I once did. However, I am very grateful to report that my eye surgery last month was a compete success, but not without a few drawbacks that kept me pretty much homebound for ten days. To keep the bruising and swelling down, I had to keep an ice pack on it for 15 minutes out of every hour for the first three days. That worked miracles since there was no raccoon eye to deal with, but I couldn't bend over for a week so I had to sleep in one of my recliners. Nonetheless, that proved to be another blessing because it kept my airway open when my allergies decided to hit with their usual spring vengeance.

When unexpected setbacks, like a sudden eye operation without warning, are coupled with so many injustices and the truly horrific things going on in the world today it is often difficult to remain optimistic and see the good that almost surprisingly is all around us. Three women in my neighborhood have been diagnosed with breast cancer this year, and a nine year-old boy had his rectum removed after nearly two months in the hospital. He has two more surgeries before the entire process is complete, hopefully by mid-summer. 

Now you may ask what is joyful about any of those heart wrenching situations since one or more may not turn out as hoped. But as I've tried to offer what help and comfort I could, I've been totally amazed at the resiliency, faith and understanding so many wonderfully, faithful Christians possess. Their fighting spirit and willingness to accept what is happening without blaming God for their struggles is truly awe-inspiring. And it has certainly made me reflect on what my attitude would be if I was asked to make a similar terrifying and uncertain journey. 

But I read something this morning that gave me a great deal of hope and a much different perspective when it comes to the aftermath of even the most horrendous disasters. It had to do with 9-11--a day that will never be forgotten by any true American. It hit really close to my heart because my daughter's senior class president, Brady Howell, was killed inside the pentagon that day. I had known him since he was child, and he had grown into one of the most talented and spiritual young men I have ever known. The author wasn't named, but it went this way.

"I know where my God was the morning of September 11, 2001. He was very busy. First of all, he was trying to discourage anyone from taking this flight. Those four flights together [could have] held over a 1000 passengers, [but] there were only 266 aboard. He was on four commercial flights giving terrified passengers the ability to stay calm. Not one of the family members who was called by a loved one on one of the hijacked planes said that passengers were screaming in the background. On one flight he was giving strength to passengers to try to overtake the hijackers. He was trying to create obstacles for employees at the World Trade Center (so they wouldn't be at work). After all, only around 20,000 were at the towers when the first jet hit. Since the buildings holds over 50,000 workers, that was a miracle in itself. How many of the people who were employed at the World Trade Center told the media that they were late for work or had traffic delays? He (God) was holding up two 110-story buildings so that (four-fifths) of the workers could get out."

Some mighty good food for thought in that paragraph, especially for those of us who have little idea what is really going on in the world because the news coming from mainstream media is meant to frighten us into compliance or outright deceive us. But my belief in God, and his glorious plans for the return of his only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, helps me remain focused on what is truly most important if I want to return to my eternal home one day. The trust I have in knowing things are unfolding as they must is beautifully captured in an analogy written by Boyd K. Packer.

"Imagine you are attending a football game. The teams seem evenly matched. One team has been trained to follow the rules, the other, to do just the opposite. They are committed to cheat and disobey every rule of sportsmanlike conduct.

"While the game ends in a tie, it is determined that it must continue until one side wins decisively.

"Soon the field is a quagmire.

 "Players on both sides are being ground into he mud. The cheating of the opposing team turns to brutality.

"Players are carried off the field. Some have been injured critically; others, it is whispered, fatally. It ceases to become a game and becomes a battle.

"You become very frustrated and upset. 'Why let this go one? Neither team can win. It must be stopped.'

"Imagine that you confront the sponsor of the game and demand that he stop this useless, futile battle. You say it is senseless and without purpose. Has he no regard at all for the players?

"He calmly replies that he will not stop the game. You are mistaken. There is a great purpose in it. You have not understood.

"He tells you that this is not a spectator sport--it is for the participants. It is for their sake that he permits the game to continue. Great benefits may come to them because of the challenges they face.

"He points to the players sitting on the bench, suited up, eager to enter the game. 'When each one of them has been in, when each has met the day for which he has prepared so long and trained so hard, then, and only then, will I call the game.'

"Until then, it may not matter which team seems to be ahead. The present score is really not crucial. There are games within games, you know. Whatever is happening to the team, each player will have his day.

"Those players on the team that keep the rules will not be eternally disadvantaged by the appearance that their team somehow always seems to be losing.

"In the field of destiny, no team or player will be eternally disadvantaged because they keep the rules. They may be cornered or misused, even defeated for a time. But individual players on that team, regardless of what appears on the score-board, may already be victorious.

"Each player will have a test sufficient to his needs; how each responds is the test.

"When the game is finally over, you or they will see purpose in it all, may even express gratitude for having been on the field during the darkest part of the contest."

He concluded the parable by saying, "I do not think the Lord is quite so hopeless about what's going on in the world as we are. He could put a stop to all of it any moment. But He will not! Not until every player has a chance to meet the test for which we were preparing before the world was, before we came into mortality."

How really blessed we are to be living on the earth during these amazing times when the lines between good and evil are being so clearly drawn. I marvel each day at how some people are so completely unable to see them, but am so grateful for the knowledge and clarity I have been given. I will be going to see a neighbor who is dying of Alzheimer's in a few minutes. She can only ingest liquids now, doesn't know who anyone is and sleeps for 17 to 22 hours each day, but I know her spirit will find comfort in knowing I am there.

May we see the good each day brings and count as one of our greatest blessings that we have the chance to complete the mission God provided for us. I look forward to each sunrise because I know my Heavenly Father is in charge and good will eventually prevail over all the evilness in the world today. 

  

Each Day is a New Beginning

Spring is definitely on it's way. I see it in the occasional blue sky and gentle rain and in the yellow and purple crocus that are sticking their little heads through the cold soil. It lifts my heart and brings renewed hope that some of the darkness in the world will soon turn to more laughter, light, love of our fellowmen, women and children and especially our God. 

January and February in the top of the Rocky Mountains brought far less moisture than usual this year, except for the days I needed to be on the ever under-construction freeway. The blizzards would descend with a furry upon demarcation lines in the road's surface that were always changing. And in my rather outdated opinion--since I am no longer exactly young--inattentive and careless driver's were taking too many needless chances that endangered lives and often caused major damage for their fellow travelers. 

I hated leaving my home and took great comfort in knowing that I had a few weeks to finish winter projects. But the beginning of 2025 was far from stress free or enjoyable. January began with my yearly UTI that took me to my friendly Insta care facility where I found that the doctor I had almost enjoyed seeing was no longer there. He had been lighthearted, straight forward and knowledgable. The one I saw this time seemed even older than me, and his bedside manner left something to be desired. But I got the antibiotic I needed and was grateful just knowing I would be feeling better within twenty-four hours.

But that relief didn't last long because on February 8, a friend--whose big Husky dog I had foolishly let come into my home so we could visit while she was taking him on his morning walk--started scratching more furiously than usual. Now I am horribly allergic to both dogs and cats so I knew I was taking a risk, but my friend and I had spent most of January reading and discussing self-help books in hopes of being better able to view some of our childhood trauma more clearly and learning how to put some of it to rest and so we could get on with living.

To make a long story less cumbersome, I got a piece of his hair in my right eye. Two days later the entire eyelid was bright red and very swollen. So I went back to Insta care to see if the hair had gotten lodged under my eyelid because it hurt something awful. The same doctor was there and after I explained what happened, he said it looked like I now had a horrible infection. He gave me a different oral antibiotic, along with an antibiotic eye drop and another eye drop to help the swelling go down. I walked away from the pharmacy feeling rather dejected after spending $130 that had not been part of my budget. 

My eye started to look somewhat better, but two days after the prescription ran out it started to swell up again. But this time there was a big, red lump growing on the surface of my eyelid and my vision was blurry. It wasn't a stye because I'd had one of those before, so I went back to Insta care. This time I got a young, female doctor who, when I showed her the pictures I had been keeping of my eye on my phone, said it was an allergic reaction. She felt confident that a course of steroids would fix me right up.

I wish that had been true. But the minute I was through with the steroids the swelling and discoloration came right back. I was getting nowhere fast seeing regular doctors, so I tried to make an appointment with the one who took care of my eye. But they're very busy people, and the earliest he could see me was three weeks out. By this time I had been dealing with this ugly ordeal for a month and was tired of looking like a freak and having people stare at me whenever I had to be out in public. So I reached out to another friend whom I thought might be able to help.

While I was waiting for a return text, I went to get my allergy shots and told the nurse what I had been going through. She took one look at my eye and said she wanted the allergy doctor to look at it before giving me any injections. He did, but he just gave me a prescription for another antibiotic and told me to call him on Monday if it wasn't doing any better. 

I was at my wit's end by the time I talked to my friend later that day. I had now seen three doctors--each with a different diagnosis and another round of pills. I knew all that medication was not good for me, but I did not want to lose my eyesight or continue looking like some pitiful creature from some horror movie. It was both upsetting and embarrassing because, even at seventy-six, I want to look my best around other people. 

When my friend told me there was an eyelid specialist thirty minutes away, I was both hopeful and amazed because I had never heard of such a thing before. But I took the number and gave them a call. Heavenly Father was really looking out for me because the receptionist said they'd just had a cancellation for the next Tuesday at 7:40 in the morning. I would have been there if it had been in the middle of the night. All I wanted was to look somewhat normal again. 

The next few days I scoured the Internet, and before I even went to the appointment with the specialist I knew what was wrong. Fortunately, I had thrown the last round of antibiotics away after three tablets because I was starting to feel like my heart was going to explode. It might have just been my nerves. But as my system began to clear, my body's natural ability to heal was able to kick in and a huge white pocket was forming over the ugly--and now very hard--red lump. 

The eyelid specialist confirmed my suspicion about a condition called Chalasia where an oil gland gets clogged and can't drain. He said it may have started with the dog hair, but it could just as easily been a coincidence. I don't really believe in coincidences, especially because of the timing, but by making a small incision, he was able to drain some of the fluid. He wasn't able to get as much of the core as hoped, so for the last ten days I've been putting hot rice packs on my eye 4 times a day, for twenty minutes and using a special ointment morning and night.

It seems like that takes most of my day, but I will go back next week to see if surgery is required, or if I will be performing the same daily routine for the next six months to a year. That's how long this condition can take to reverse without intervention. I'm not sure which prognosis sounds best right now. Neither is ideal. But life goes on and new challenges occur on a daily basis.

Right now, I am waiting for my son's phone call as to where things now stand after bringing charges against my ex-husband for molesting my granddaughter and three other young girls from his wife's family. That's all we can verify right now, but this needy, nutty woman is standing by him and has willingly turned against all of her children, grandchildren and siblings to do it. I will never understand how anyone who has been a mother can do that, but then I'm surprised most every day by the evilness in our world today.

Anyway, my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter are meeting with the district attorney, their lawyer and a young woman who went through a similar horrendous experience with a family member to learn what to expect during the preliminary trial on April 3. I'm extremely anxious about what will happen in front of that judge, and pray continually that my ex will take responsibility for his actions and accept the plea deal so no one will have to testify. But like my son, I'm not so sure his pride will allow him to. The success of his life has always been measured by others perception of him, and I doubt that will change now. He'll go down fighting or not at all. 

But I take comfort in knowing that God lives, he is the only true judge, and he does answer prayers--even if we don't always recognize them. 

While it goes without saying that writing blogs has been hard for me lately, it's not just because my health issues have kept me distracted and in a less than positive mood. My mind has been swirling in a hundred different directions almost daily because I am determined to keep my single New Year's resolution. I have been feverishly working on my life history since it's the one thing only I can do. Every other role I play can be filled by someone else if I am not around.

I want my posterity, along with the rest of my family and friends, to better understand the experiences that have made me who I am, and the source I have always turned to for strength and help during my darkest hours. Each of us have a unique story that only we can tell, and I am so grateful Heavenly Father is helping me write mine now. I feel his guidance so often as I try to put into words what is in my heart without casting blame on others who have their own struggles to deal with.

I'll end by saying that it's been a good day. The sun finally came out and I was able to visit an elderly friend who is experiencing acute back pain and take her some home-baked goodies. I do believe in angels. They surround us daily, and I want to be that angel for someone else. It might take some of my time when I could be doing something else, but I always feel so much lighter inside after rendering even the smallest act of kindness. What a privilege it is to serve others and know that I am trying to follow in my Savior's footsteps. 

Can You Breath Again?

What a historic day we are living through. I hope everyone listened to President Trump's Inaugural Address--preferably without the biased, liberal commentary of the deep state left. Other than on a few occasions like this, I am glad I have nothing but rabbit ears for television viewing. Main stream media provides little wholesome viewing and their deranged commentaries on the news do nothing but cause disinformation and globalists ideals to spread to the unsuspecting and uninformed. 

If I ever have a few moments when I want to let my mind go blank and just veg, I put in a DVD of an inspirational movie or an old tv series that isn't laced with media propaganda. However, I have discovered that some of the television series I thought were nothing but the creative genius of writers were really contrived glimpses into the future the globalist elites and deep state had in mind for us--one filled with terrorist activities, manmade disasters that displace our citizens with no relief or recourse, civil unrest, human and drug trafficking, unrelenting war and crime-ridden cities--to name just a few.

It made my heart hurt during my hour or so of viewing as I was forced to listen to the platitudes and lies the anchors perpetrated about the greatness and humility of the democrats and known rhinos who were in attendance. Those dialogues became even more intolerable because not a single patriot was spared at least one disparaging remark. Even our lovely, kind and gracious First Lady, Melania, was censured as being a former model who was overly concerned about her appearance. 

But in a way, I am glad I watched it on a very politically biased outlet because it made perfectly clear the far-reaching extent of hypocrisy in the outgoing administration, and put into perspective just how greatly our beautiful country has suffered under their leadership. 

I hope never to forget the look on President Trump's face in those brief moments before making his inaugural address to our nation. He appeared calm and composed on the surface, but his eyes let me know just how human he is and how heavy his burdens weigh. I prayed for his continued strength, safety and guidance, along with that of his family who have already endured so much opposition and hatred. These stalwart, loyal and brave individuals could have walked away from the continuing fight for our freedoms, but they close to stand by their husband, father and grandfather not knowing what other sacrifices they might be called on to make as a family.

President Trump has lived through and risen above many horrific battles, including several assassination attempts, but the precipice he was standing on at that moment could bring the ultimate battles of his life. The stage had been set and the majority of people stood with him, but the dark and sinister forces he had been dealing with for the past nine years had barely begun their fight. When Kamala Harris said just a few days ago--with that ever-present and annoying cackle--that she would not disappear into the night she was including her unprincipled comrades who had already unleashed almost intolerable pain and chaos and stood ready and prepared to do more. 

But for President Trump, whom providence had protected and brought to this moment, there would be no turning back after his speech was delivered. While his remarks would bring rounds of applause and unprecedented joy to those who believed as he did, they would also unleash unimaginable fury from the far-left activists as he reemphasized his promises to return our country to God, to its amazing constitution and to the lawful citizens whose beautiful home it is and who enabled such a glorious victory.

I felt immense pride and gratitude as he rose to his feet and made those few steps to the lectern. He was prepared, powerful and committed. Nearly every promise reiterated brought a standing ovation from the crowd, but all the former presidents and their wives--including Harris and her husband--sat as if unable to move. The expressions on their faces ranged from rage and fear to a pretense of apathy. They managed to pull it together when he mentioned the hostages being released, but their contempt was ever present. 

It was impossible not to notice two things during the short ceremony that may have been more than a simple oversight or a mechanical failure with the sound system. The facial reactions from those individuals mentioned in the above paragraph was very telling, and the outcome far different from what they expected. First, time was not given for President Trump's family to join him before he placed his hand on two Bibles and Justice Roberts began to swear him into office. The smaller Bible had been given to him by his mother and the larger one president Lincoln had used at his inauguration. 

Could there be some underlying meaning with that? Considering the sharp division in our country after the last four years of brainwashing and manipulation it seems entirely possible. As does his inauguration landing on Martin Luther King Day--also a time for remembering promised deliverance from oppression. 

Second was the loss of sound when Carrie Underwood stood up to sing America the Beautiful. The faces behind her were not sympathetic, but she handled it with complete grace. Her a cappella rendition was so moving most everyone joined in to sing with her--even some of those who had been so completely stoic before. The love for our country and the joy felt to be on the verge of reclaiming its foundational principles must have been electric. Nonetheless, I cannot help but wonder why the soundboard was still working for all the microphones on stage and only the channel controlling her background music was affected. Guess the conspiracy theorist in me is still alive and well.

I am so grateful my fellow patriots and I have made it this far. The hope for a beautiful future with our constitutional rights being upheld once again and all the woke nonsense and support for criminals being abolished is strong. But I fear the war we are waging against so many unseen forces of evil is far from being over. That's why we can never become complacent and think we've already done our part. 

President Trump and all those unnamed heroes fighting for our freedoms need our support and strength more than ever. We can now speak the truth and stand up for what we believe without fear of complete retribution by unknown forces that have been allowed to silence us during these past few years. Not that it won't take time to undo all the damage that has spread into every sector of our lives, but the plan is being implemented as of today. If we stand strong and immovable we will prevail and our posterity will be true recipients of the American dream that has been undermined and, in far too many instances, destroyed.

I do feel like I can breath again--at least for the moment. But evil men and women, whose true master is Satan, never sleep and have unlimited resources. However, what they don't seem to understand is that God is truly in charge. He is our maker, offering strength, courage and hope because righteousness will eventually prevail. And if we are on His side we really have nothing to fear. So I'll say my prayers and try to remain as prepared and positive as possible for whatever may come my way because I am a believer in God, in truth and in the goodness of the vast majority of my fellow travelers during this mortal journey.